so, i’m wondering.

never having been a white parent, i’m wondering what do you do when you are a white parent and you happen to also have a white child who also happens to be in the throes of a serious and intense “look, a negro!” moment in public space? kids—especially young ones—have these moments around me all the time, but their parents seem especially inept at figuring out how to respond. they typically just pretend it’s not happening and/or look sheepishly.

the parents seem like they’re in some bizarre double (triple? quadruple?) bind with the weirdness and messiness of their kid’s fascination/revulsion/preoccupation with my body. when they do acknowledge to me that their child is staring at and/or talking about me, their response is usually to displace their child’s fascination to some part, characteristic, or extension of my body that is not the color of my skin—my dreads, my skin, my height—that allow them both to acknowledge and dismiss the awkwardness of the encounter at the same time.

and i really don’t know what to do, or if there’s anything worth saying in response, to the kid or to the parent.